Are our differences causing our conflict?
Often couples are attracted to one another because of their differences. As we continue in our marriages, these differences can become irritations. Those characteristics that once helped draw us together into “oneness” may now be separating us. Couples seem to forget that their differences were meant to result in a complementary relationship, rather than a caustic or competitive one. This often leads to the marriage partner becoming frustrated, hurt, angry, and eventually giving up on the marriage.
Here are some ways that couples dishonor their differences:
- Constant criticism
- Taking your marriage partner for granted
- Telling or implying to your marriage partner that his or her opinion doesn’t matter
- Dismissing your marriage partner’s needs as unimportant
- Making jokes about your marriage partner’s character or physical features
- Being arrogant or insensitiveNever admitting you’re wrong
Couples need to continually appreciate their unique differences. It is important to be realistic and be reminded that your marriage partner will never be you. It will take lots of prayer, patience, and teamwork to create marital oneness!
In what ways can you and your spouse honor your differences?
Dr. Dale Goodman, Pastoral Counselor