Are you sabotaging the communication between you and your spouse?

July 11, 2011 Comments Off on Are you sabotaging the communication between you and your spouse?
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Often, the communication issues between a husband and wife are the result of one or both partners having sabotaged that aspect of their relationship. Whether this is a conscious effort or not, sabotaging communication is no help to having healthy communication.

Take some time to evaluate how you communicate. The following are several ways you or your spouse may be sabotaging your communication.

Signs of sabotaging verbal communication:

  1. Using attack words. These can be accusations, quick judgment, demeaning comments, sarcasm, or name-calling.
  2. Giving the silent treatment. This happens when one or both partners are unwilling to speak words that mend, or they refuse to discuss sensitive topics.
  3. Using criticism to make your point. This comes in the form of making minor details major points in your argument, or lecturing your spouse instead of calmly discussing the issue at hand.
  4. Having a lack of forgiveness.
  5. Losing your integrity.
  6. Having a lack of time.
  7. Being proud.
  8. Fearing rejection.
  9. Acting off of a misunderstanding.
  10. Allowing fatigue or stress to be involved in your reactions.
  11. Allowing trust in your spouse to break.

Signs of sabotaging nonverbal communication:

  1. Using negative facial expressions.
  2. Failing to make eye contact.
  3. Allowing constant distractions to have a presence during your discussion.

Take inventory of your communication style. Do any of these play a role when communicating with your spouse?

Dr. Dale Goodman, Pastoral Counselor

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