I recently saw a rerun episode of Oprah. She had a couple on the show who had spent the past 40 years writing love letters to each other—everyday! Their letters consisted of three parts:
Part 1: How I feel today. “Dear Alton,” Patricia once wrote after a fight. “I still feel separated from you because of last night.” One letter from Alton expressed his gratitude: “I feel honored you think I’m a great parent.”
Part 2: “I love you because…” Their letters were full of specific, endearing reasons they love each other. “I love you for giving the children their baths.” “I love you for fixin’ my supper plate tonight. It was good.”
Part 3: A question of the day. Alton says these questions range from, “How do I feel when you’re sick?” to “How do I feel when you’re short with the children?” to “How do I feel when you do something special for me?”
What a great way to keep the communication lines open! As I listened, I couldn’t help but wonder how this activity might work for other couples. Anything that gets couples talking is a good thing, and maybe by writing instead of speaking, couples can open up without worrying about interruptions, immediate reactions, or being overheard.
Join me and give it a try, won’t you?