Marital “Oneness”: A Covenantal Goal

September 28, 2011 Comments Off on Marital “Oneness”: A Covenantal Goal
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Genesis 2:24 reminds us the very basis of marriage: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (NIV). We’ve all heard this verse, some of us more frequently than others. Have you ever stopped to wonder what becoming “one flesh” really means?

It literally means to become “one body.” The Scriptures reveal that marital relationships between a man and woman are to be close. Becoming “one” would be expressed in a marital lifestyle of:

  • commitment
  • communication
  • compatibility
  • care
  • encouragement
  • empowerment
  • nurture
  • sacrifice
  • serving
  • sexually fidelity
  • growth

Everyone needs close relationships! A primary goal in a biblical marriage is for the “two to become one.” The “oneness” that God desires for marriages will only happen if couples are willing to be open, honest, vulnerable, and accountable to each other.

“Oneness” produces a relational intimacy—an intimacy vital for any growing relationship. For relational intimacy to develop, both individuals must be willing to be known. It will require a constant effort to get close to each other and to remain close throughout the years of marriage. It’s becoming the best of friends for life, which requires time, trust, patience, and perseverance. This sounds like a lot to work on, and it may feel like that at times, but it will be worth it!

Take a few moments to discuss these questions with your partner:

  • Why should a couple establish “oneness” and relational intimacy in a marital relationship?
  • In the successful marriages you have observed, how would you describe their “intimacy factor” (e.g., their ability to get close, through vulnerability and accountability to each other)?
  • How would you describe your parents’ “intimacy factor” in their marriage?
  • How have your parents’ marital relationship influenced your desire for “oneness”?
  • What would it take for your relationship to become more “one”?

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