Do Dating Sites Work? Matt & Donna’s Success Story.
Donna’s Side of the Story
After trying a couple of different dating websites over the years, both of us ended up on Matchwise.com. I chose this particular site because it was developed by Dr. Kevin Lehman, a Christian Psychologist.
Why Did You Try Online Dating?
My life was full of ministry opportunities while working with college-age women. I was completely focused on this part of my life. I made time for friends and was involved in College Church singles ministries, but there weren’t a lot of options to meet the kind of guy that I wanted for a husband.
I was 28 when I became a Resident Director for Williams Hall (freshmen girls’ dorm), so I had been single for a while. However, I felt the Lord showing me that I was single for a reason: ministry.
In the summer of 2006, I changed positions to become a part-time Residential Director. This change in position gave me more time to pursue a potential dating relationship. Because there weren’t many options in the local area, I knew I should go online if I wanted to seriously pursue dating opportunities. I felt comfortable with online dating since one of my best friends had recently gotten engaged to someone she met online. I knew this would probably be the best way to find what I was looking for.
How Long Were You A Member?
I joined in late July, and I found Matt’s profile by the end of August!
Did You Ever Get Any Ridicule for Using An Online Dating Site?
No, and let me tell you why. I was 32 when I met Matt, and when you’re single at that age, online dating makes sense. The only people that might ridicule it are those who are my age and got married right after college. They just don’t get it for some reason.
Is Your view of Online Dating Different Because You Are a Christian?
I think I might be a little more careful just because I didn’t want any part of some of the crazy, immoral stuff that can come from online relationships. I definitely went into it with a magnifying glass and was extremely careful.
I was VERY safe about meeting him. I didn’t give him my last name for the longest time, didn’t tell him where I actually lived, and searched his name on the internet. Before he came into town, I asked him to give me his license plate number so that I could give it to my sisters, just in case he was a crazy person! He was okay with that.
The first weekend we met, Matt drove here from Des Moines and we met at Lonestar. Later I found out that my dear friend Faith was parked in the nearby Target parking lot making sure I was safe. She didn’t tell me that until later, but I loved it!
And Most Importantly, How Did You Finally Meet “The One”?
I “waved” (a friendly online gesture) first, and then a couple days later he waved back and we started corresponding. We e-mailed that entire first week, and on Friday night we talked online until 6 a.m.! We didn’t talk at all on Saturday, but then Sunday night we were back on instant messenger. I gave him my phone number and Monday after work he called. We met 4 weeks later on October 7. In November we met each other’s families, and on December 8 of that same year he proposed! We were married on July 14, 2007.
I do not recommend online dating for anyone under the age of 25!!! There is too much out there that God wants you doing when you are in college and just out of school. For the most part, people are single because God has something He wants them to do with absolute focus while they’re single. So do what God wants you to do first and then begin taking slow steps to seek out a relationship with someone.
The bottom line was that I had been single for a while and I knew I was READY to meet the man God had for me. God then gave me the green light. If you are still single after 25 or 26, or after God has moved you on toward another journey in life and you want to meet someone, then you can’t just sit and wait. It IS okay to do something about it. Whether that’s online dating, getting into shape, asking friends to set you up, etc., it’s okay! God has planted within us a desire to be married, and we have to do our part sometimes. I believe I did my part and God ordained a beautiful relationship from it!
Matt’s side of the story
What made you decide to use a dating website?
I was in my mid-20’s when I first started using an online dating website. At first, it was fun to meet other Christians from across the country who I had a lot in common with. I wasn’t finding many local people who lived by the same values that I was interested in. My brother had some success so I thought I would give it a try.
What online dating service did you use?
The site I met Donna on was Matchwise.com. I had tried several, including eHarmony, Match.com, Cross Daily.com, etc.
Why did you choose this site?
Like most, I had heard positive things about it. The founder was a Christian author, which was interesting. I found it intriguing that matches were made on commonalities.
How long was it before you found your spouse?
On the Matchwise.com site, I met Donna a few weeks after my three-month subscription had expired. When she sent me a wave I then had to decide if I wanted to renew the subscription in order to meet Donna. All in all I was on and off sites for a couple years before Donna and I finally met.
What was it like meeting people for the first time after getting to know them online?
Most initial meetings were awkward!
What advice would you give to others who are considering using a dating website?
Spend time talking online first before giving any personal information that leads to off-line communication. Be careful and take your time.